Inaction

A girl passed out today in one of my classes.

I should have seen it coming, to be honest.  She was talking to the professor about how she was going to the nurse's because she couldn't see very well, and she took a few steps away from him and swayed and collapsed in one motion.  I was the closest person to her in the room.

I was the closest person, and I did nothing.

Correction - I didn't just "do nothing".  I started to reach for my knife.  The quick disturbance and the crash and the sound all triggered my reflexes and before I knew it my hand was already in my pocket and I was looking for someone to protect myself from.

What  want to know is, what kind of person instinctively reaches for a weapon instead of jumping to help?  I let her crash to the ground - sure, it wasn't a conscious decision and it was just a split second reflex, but who has instincts that cause them to protect themselves instead of others?

Not a great person, that's who.  A selfish person and a paranoid person and a person that can't be counted on to act when the situation demands.

But the worst thing is that she's pregnant.

And I did nothing to catch her as she and her child crashed to the ground in front of me.