Friday, March 15, 2013

Pursuit of Steelhead


"I have fished through fishless days that I remember happily without regret."
- Roderick Haig-Brown

They say that no freshwater fish has as much fruitless time wasted on it by fly fishermen than a steelhead.

I must confess that those words bring me a measure of comfort after the recent lack of success on my latest outing for this elusive steelhead.

Following my move to Michigan, and in concordance with my enduring philosophy to take advantage of fishing opportunities wheresoever I may find them, I was able to wheedle a guided fly fishing trip on the Muskegon from my dad.  And so, a few days after setting foot on Kalamazoo ground, I found myself in a shallow river boat on the Muskegon River in Central Western Michigan, clutching a fly rod and choking down snowflakes the size of quarters.  The wind whipped the snow sideways and played hell with my fly line, my hands froze in claws around the cork handle, and it was 8:30 in the morning.

And I thought to myself, some crazy people out there don’t enjoy this sort of thing.

Ok, so I make fun.  I realize the complete and utter ridicule that I deserve for having such a skewed set of priorities and neglected desire for comfort, for having a passion for a hobby that is so unkind to me back.  I have to make fun of myself, because the alternative that remains is only to question my own rationality. 

After a few hours, the sun came out from the clouds and kissed our poor angler souls.  It was like a kiss from mom after you fall down and hurt your knee – no real practical or physical comfort, but enough psychological help to keep you hobbling along. 

The Muskegon is neither a particularly large or small river and is neither clear nor muddy.  On this day it was dark, shadowed by high banks with plentiful trees providing shade.  The weight on the end of my line ticked over the bottom, wiggling the rod tip and giving me endless hope and endless disappointment with imagined fish strikes.

And what I realized on the Muskegon is that I could fall in love with this land they call Trout Country, with the firs and the spruces and the eagle and the deer on the shore and the roiling pools pregnant with the promise of trout.  I could fall in love with these rivers that are so different from and so similar to the lakes in Minnesota that I already love.  These rivers that chuckle and whisper and hiss at me in tones loving and mocking and teasing that I could spend every day for the rest of my life on, like this dour man who guides me on the chase for steelhead. 

I had one strike in an eight hour day of fishing – possibly one of my worst days, success wise, that I’ve ever had.  But for one second I felt the tug of the life of the river, connected directly to me by that thick green line.  And before I overcame the surprise and the beauty and the gift of it, it was gone.

I met no steelhead this week.  I intercepted no fish from the lake, coursing with strength and motivated ‘m by instinct older than the river itself.  But I’m pretty sure that I’ll be back.

Monday, March 4, 2013

Inaction

A girl passed out today in one of my classes.

I should have seen it coming, to be honest.  She was talking to the professor about how she was going to the nurse's because she couldn't see very well, and she took a few steps away from him and swayed and collapsed in one motion.  I was the closest person to her in the room.

I was the closest person, and I did nothing.

Correction - I didn't just "do nothing".  I started to reach for my knife.  The quick disturbance and the crash and the sound all triggered my reflexes and before I knew it my hand was already in my pocket and I was looking for someone to protect myself from.

What  want to know is, what kind of person instinctively reaches for a weapon instead of jumping to help?  I let her crash to the ground - sure, it wasn't a conscious decision and it was just a split second reflex, but who has instincts that cause them to protect themselves instead of others?

Not a great person, that's who.  A selfish person and a paranoid person and a person that can't be counted on to act when the situation demands.

But the worst thing is that she's pregnant.

And I did nothing to catch her as she and her child crashed to the ground in front of me.